since March 6, 2000

This is my two cents. On this page I tell it like it is. At least from my point of view. I find I have opinions about pretty much everything, from sports, to politics, to what time I should get out of bed in the morning. I figured I would have a little page where you could come and read my infinite wisdom. After all, I'm sure your going to agree with me on every issue, right? Anyway, if you find for some reason you disagree with what I say (e.g. you have been drinking, you have been smoking, you haven't slept for days, or you are just generally stupid), I encourage you to contact me and voice your own views. Or if you prefer you can just sit there and stew in your own juices. If you have something very clever and witty to say, I may even post it so others can benefit from your glorious thoughts. Now, here's my two cents...

NOTE: These comments should not be taken too seriously...

On the US Election
Dec 7, 2000
Ha Ha Ha!! They've finally screwed themselves!

On the Liberals
Dec 7, 2000
Say what you will about Chretien, but he showed them all. Like him or hate him, you have to admit he wooped everyone's ass. I have to laugh, because the Alliance was proclaiming they would win 40 seats or so in Ontario. That was (once again) complete ignorance. Time for a change? Hell no. We are making money hand over fist over here.

But let's be honest. The only reason why they win is because there isn't anyone better to vote for. I mean, we vote for a guy with a history of "shady dealings" and then ask, "but we're still getting our tax cuts, right?" Often I wonder if our fearless leader isn't fade in and out of reality. I don't get the talking out the sides of our mouths thing either.

On the Alliance
Dec 7, 2000
Who the hell are these guys? Oh yeah. Bigots. The whole lot of them (Now, if you are a member of the Alliance and you are not a bigot, get the hell out of there while you still can. Also, what do you think of my brilliant political commentary?) You've seen some of the comments that they have made. Complete ignorance. If you ever doubted racism is based on a complete lack of knowledge, here's Exibit A.

And what is up with having referendums for everything? Apparently we DON'T elect officials to make decisions for us. Like the public is going to make the right decisions. They have no backbone. What to do? Run to the public, because we can't decide. Stand up for SOMETHING, for goodness sake. Oh I get it, your standing for racism.

On the Bloc
Dec 7, 2000
At the very least, you know what they stand for. Sure it pisses off the rest of the country, but if you were French, wouldn't you love to have a party like that? But they sure diss the English, don't they? So screw them.

On the PCs
Dec 7, 2000
My man Joe is fighting for a lost cause. Actually, I take that back. Keep on splitting the Right, Joe! Somebody has to stop the Alliance.

On the NDP
Dec 7, 2000
Obviously, they have some good ideas about social welfare and supporting those less fortunate. Definitely some changes need to be made. But come on, should we really be putting every sent into it? No money to help businesses to get off the ground or to create more jobs? Somebody's got to making the money for this country. As Burnie B. put it, "The best social assistance is a job with a steady paycheck in a company that makes money." Maybe that's what we should do for people?

On the Canadian Political Leaders
Dec 7, 2000
You mean that's it? Seriously, that's all there is?

On Government Money For Youth Sports
Oct 2, 2000
Some people seem to thinks that spending government money on youth sports is a waste. But if there were more opportunites for kids to play, they will be much less likely to get into trouble. I mean, I bet if a kid had to chose between playing baseball or hockey and breaking into someone's house, the former would win hands down. I think we would greatly reduce the problems many adults have by giving them a sporting experience when they are young. Kids need something to do. Idle hands are the Devil's playground? At least the Devil has a playground.

On Professional Wrestling
Oct 2, 2000
My man John Carter put it best, "We are going to Hell in a hand basket."

On High Priced Athletes
Oct 2, 2000
I will be the first to proclaim that no one is worth 15 million dollars a year. But at the same time, I have a hard time faulting a person for going for the money. People get all in a tizzy when a player goes to a new team for a higher salary. But it "regular people" do it all the time. What's wrong with going to a better job? If people didn't, everyone would still be doing the first job they had. Think of the number of lemonade stands we would have with 40 year-olds running them. If you must ask the question of why do pro athletes get paid so much, why don't you ask the owners who are paying them? They are the ones who are obviously saying they are worth it.

On Star Wars Nerds
Aug 14, 2000
Being a software designer, I live in the land of Nerd-dom. Nerds are known to enjoy debating the various aspects of sci-fi, fantasy, etc. Many times I have been ridiculed about my vast Star Wars knowledge or times when I argue certain elements of it with other people. Many of these people who are doing the ridiculing are artsie types who enjoy nothing more than to debate Shakespeare or the latest painting by some goofball. Or they might be sports types who know every statistic since 1981 (I am one of these too). The thing that gets me is that these people look down on us Star Wars fans and can't comprehend how we can talk about this stuff that isn't real. Then they turn around and argue what was going through some chump's head in some book. Or they look at a painting of a red dot and marvel at how the artist captured the feelings of civilization as we know it. The point is that if you are going to label us Star Wars fans as nerds, then all you people who fall into the categories described above have to join our swelling ranks as well. We all debate and argue about stuff that doesn't mean a damn thing (except the Oilers playoff chances). You are all nerds.

On Young Smokers
Jun 11, 2000
How can I bring heat on my self? I know! I'll talk about smokers! They seem to be a good natured bunch. Where to begin? Oh yes. It f---ing stinks. I know you think that smoking makes you look older and therefore cooler, but to older people it makes you look like kiddies that think that smoking makes you look older and therefore cooler. And therefore you appear pretty lame. Do yourself a favor and don't start in the first place. Just enjoy the stuff you buy with the thousands of dollars you'll save.

On Ultra-Right Religious Groups
Jun 11, 2000
First off, too cover my ass, I want to say that people should be able to think and believe what they want. For me, I start to get pissed at people who try to enforce their "values" on me whether the like it or not. Where do they get the ego to think they have the right? Frankly, I'd be pretty wary about running around and doing things in "the Name of God". I don't know about you, but I think God would be pretty pissed with all the crap that gets dealt out in His Name. I'd be pretty careful about not pissing Him off. After all, He's God. The way I see it, things should be like a grocery store. When you go to the fruit section, you get the stuff you like, and you pass the stuff you don't like. If you don't like bananas, you don't get bananas. You don't start trying to stop the whole world from buying bananas. Actually, Mr. MacFarlane, creater of the comic character Spawn, came up with that. Wierd huh?

On Dalhousie
Apr 17, 2000
I'm sure most people are aware how the general student body feels about Dalhousie. Here's what my man Chuck had to say in an email to me this morning:
Mike - salutations!
I'm just getting your message now. Unfortunately, I had to leave work at lunch Friday to give myself ample time to get to the Air Canada Center to watch your Knicks have their asses handed to them by my Raptors. Vince wasn't full of high-flying highlights like I would have hoped but he was a cool 74% (14-19) from the field. Not too shabby! I thoroughly enjoyed watching Carter have his way with Latrell as well. I could probably ramble on for a while about the game but there are more important things to talk about. I got cut off at the Plex yesterday! Apparently, students on coop terms don't get Plex privileges. I was at Dalplex last Wednesday - no problems. I go yesterday and the card doesn't work and buddy says 'no ball for you'. I think what has happened is that I only just paid my registration for the term on Friday and up until that point my status was probably on hold and the Plex authorities hadn't had a chance to deny me access. It was kind of ironic because I had just finished reading the billboard on my in the plex parking lot that reads student summer memberships to the plex now $125. Meaning students need pay extra to enjoy the Plex over the summer months. This got me nice and irate for a friendly chat with some cocksucker that wouldn't let me play ball one last time. He did however offer to process a $10 day pass for me. Whatever! You won't catch me paying $10 for 1-2 hours of ball. At that price ($5/hr) I should get my own Dalplex employee to see to all my personal needs during my visit. It's harder talking about this over email because there are so many things I want to say. The point is that I hate the school I go to - Dalhousie. This is just another attempt by Dal to suck up every last penny out of the poor students pocket and unfortunately this one affects me bigtime. It's the principle that kills me. Once again this is topic that I could go on about for awhile but won't.
I'd have to agree Chuck. But your foolishness about my Knicks is inexcusable! Why must you turn my website into a house of lies? You will rue this day Morash! I may just send Spree after you with with one of his patented choke holds.

On Elian Gonzalez
Apr 15, 2000
This was on the MSN website today:
ELIAN'S MIAMI RELATIVES argue that he would be psychologically harmed if he were turned over immediately and they want to avoid damaging him further.
Yes we must prevent that! And what better way to do that than script some bolony statement and have the six-year-old read that he no longer wants to be with his father. Yeah, good thinking guys. If you are going to make up something to try and keep the kid, at least come up with something better than that. It wouldn't be hard. How about, "What boy? Oh, Elian? We sent him home weeks ago." That tape was probably the worst attempt to fool people since Clinton's "I didn't inhale" speech. And the masses of people outside the uncle's house. Don't you people have jobs? They interview one fool and he says, "I'm just glad we are making a difference." Whatever. The only difference you're making is wasting quality TV cable time that I'm paying for.

On the JonBenet Ramsey case
Apr 12, 2000
I know that this case will probably never be solved. How many years has it been? Way to go Boulder, CO. police department. Anyway, even if her parents are not the ones who killed her (which it certainly seems to me that they did), to me they are still guilty. What is up with child beauty pagents? I mean what the F--- is that? You can't tell me that those things are in any way productive for those kids. Fast forward twenty years down the road, and you end up with Erin Borckovich (sans riding up the ranks with no education). All bad attitude and poor manners. And thinks the world owns them something because they were Little Miss Hog Queen. Or even worse they kept losing and their self-esteem is floating around the Earth's core.

And have you seen the parents of those kids? Talking about living vicariously living through your children. Trailer trash has to do that I guess. "I don't have anything to feel good about myself, so I'll dress up my kid like some two-bit hooker and strut her around the town square, and then people will look at me and see what a terrific parent I am." Get out the child abuse law books, because I have something to add.

On Matrix winning the Oscar for best special effects
Mar 27, 2000
I know I am a Star Wars nut, but I have to agree with this choice. While Episode 1: The Phantom Menace set the record for most special effects (and some were pretty damn amazing), The Matrix did things that had never been done before. Finally the Academy made a choice on merit. I didn't see any of the other winners, but I'm sure they all were undeserving.

Response from Travis:
About the Matrix winning the Oscar, well... it was borderline I thought, Star Wars could have won for new technology for special effects, since they came up with new ways of speeding up the CG rendering stuff by going away from the polygon rendering that was done earlier. The bullet-time stuff wasn't invented in the Matrix, it's been done before, but never to that level, usually only a few frames. I forget the movie that did it, but I'm pretty sure that it was done a few times in other movies. The Matrix really blew it away.

Response from Colleen S:
I'd also like to refute your comment about the matrix doing things that had never been done. after seeing jet li's 1996 (?) film 'black mask' i'm convinced the matrix ripped it off. just my 2 cents :)

On Opra
Mar 9, 2000
I'll be the first to admit that I don't particularly like any of those trailer trash TV shows like Sally Jesse Raphael, Springer, or any of these "my boyfriend sleeps around/I'm a woman dressed as a man" shows. But unfortunately, I have seen the alternative. And that alternative is Opra. It seems that Opra has reached god status with most of her viewers. Every episode you can see the audience clap like braindead seals at everything she says. To me, Opra is just an opportunist. She looks through the paper to see what is the new big movie coming out. Then she has the stars on the show and sucks up to them like some kind of crazed mutant blowfish. Remember when she had the cast of one of the Batman movies on? The one with Arnold. I'll never forget Opra's words, "This is one of the best movies I've ever seen!" I've seen some crap in my day but ich. But I guess this is understandable from a lady who produced "Beloved". And what about that whole Texas beef fiasco? The fact that she can swerve public opinion only goes to show that there are a lot of idiots out there. If the mighty Opra says something, it must be true. She's on TV. Those poor Texas farmers didn't stand a chance. Opra could have systematically made leather coats out of them and the media would still play her off like some kind of defenceless victim. What channel was Springer on again?

On Boy Bands
Mar 8, 2000
Remember way back when the Spice Girls emerged on the scene in full force? The thing that sticks in my mind most is that every girl I knew over the age of 15 absolutely hated them. I believe the argument was no talent chicks who rely on their looks and big boobs to sell CDs. The other complaint was that instead of "paying their dues" with years as struggling musicians, they answered an add in the paper and instantly became stars. Lots of women backlashed. Now, I'm not saying for a second that the Spice Girls' music was unfairly criticized, but lets fast forward a few years ahead. Introduce the Backstreet Boys and the phenomenon of the Boy Bands. Now the tables take an interesting turn. Now women flock to these bands like frat guys to whoopy cushins. And if you think it is just girls under 17 you are fooling yourself. Let's call a spade a spade here. Girls like the Backstreet Boys for the same reason that guys like the Spice Girls.

On Shakespeare
Mar 8, 2000
Now, I'm no literary genious (I can hardly spell half the time), but I just don't get what the big deal is about Big Willy. I mean, that guy has been beaten to death about fifty times over. Why do actors and the literary community at large feel the need redo this stuff over and over? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Shakespeare is a bum or anything, it's just that no one has ever been able to tell me why he is considered the greatest. I know Kings going mad and seeing things and boys pretending to be girls and girls pretending to be boys is funny in it's own right. Just what the hell is it about this stuff that's so great? Someone please enlighten me.

On Government help to the NHL
Feb 25, 2000
Now, I know this is a controversial topic, and I know that I am biased towards hockey. People seem to think that a hockey franchise (or sports in general) seems to be isolated from the rest of the economy. They are under the delusion that if you remove said hockey franchise, that other businesses in the area will not be affected. Hockey, and the NHL in particular, bring in a lot of money to the communities where they reside. Now, other people say, "Oh Boo Hoo, the NHL has been badly run and rich millionaires want more money, well screw that." Now the problems arise not from the high salaries per se, but from the discrepencies between Canada and the US. It is not as though the NHL as a whole does not make enough money to pay the players, the problem is that the government takes half their earnings through taxes and then reduces the amount even more with a poor Canadian dollar. Then they say go compete with American teams who pay five percent taxes and have a strong dollar. Then they wonder how come things don't work out. The thing that gets me the most is that the government has the gall to stand up there and say with a straight face that they are not going to give help (read money) to an industry that can't support itself. By the way, here's 25 million to keep Sysko and Sydney Steel open for another eight months. The only income they have is government, I mean your, money. I have a better idea, let's put all the money into the National Art Gallery instead because what they have in there (i.e. red painting with dot in the middle, worth 10 million) is more a part of Canadian culture than hockey. Oh wait, they already do.

On Teen Dramas
Feb 25, 2000
I don't know about you, but I never really thought that life was that bad. I mean, I know we all have our problems, but that's life. What is not life are what I call "Teen Dramas". You know what I'm talking about. Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, Felicity. An unwielding thought penetrates my brain makes me cry out, "For God's sake please stop whining!!" It goes on and on! Every little problem that they have is life and death struggle. A bunch of crybabies, the whole lot of them. Felicity can't decide what courses to take, boo hoo. Dawson's morals are challenged when the hot stripper won't stop asking him to go to bed with her, boo hoo. All teenaged boys can relate to that dilemma. Dilemma? I meant to say Jackpot! If the show had anything like a real teenager the only way morals would get in the way would be if they got caught in his zipper when he was trying to get his pants off. Some women watch every week as if it's real and wonder why the men in their lives can't be all sensitive like the ones on Dawson's Creek, then they flick the channel and say, "There's Ricky Martin, he's SOOO talented!"