Unfrequently Asked Questions
Who the hell are you?
Do you work for a living or just beg for scraps?
Could you possibly have a girlfriend?
What on earth is Warped Productions for?
What unfortunate sequence of events lead to Warped Productions?
What color are your eyes?
Where did you dispense hoops justice?
What would improve television, in your infinite wisdom?
What language do you program your games in?
What can we expect in the future from Warped Productions?
How do you want to die?
How fast did you win Star Wars Trivial Pursiut?
How can I contact this man of wisdom and glory?
Question 1: Who the hell are you?
While I have many aliases, my real name is Michael Alexander Roger. My birthday
(in case you want to send me a card) is October 16, 1974. I was born in Edmonton,
Alberta, Canada and grew up in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada. I recently moved to
our great capital Ottawa. My immediate family consists of my Pops, Bill, Moms, Betty, and
sister Katherine.
Question 2: Do you work for a living or just beg for scraps?
I am a new Software Engineer for Nortel Networks here in Ottawa. Those lucky bastards.
Let me take this opportunity to state for the record that I in no way represent the
views and opinions of Nortel Networks. They are a reputable organization who would
never think to plunge into my silliness.
Question 3: Could you possibly have a girlfriend?
Yes, her name is Colleen. I'm sure she is bitter that is being associated with me right
now. Hi Sweetie! Hearts are breaking everywhere tonight.
Question 4: What on earth is Warped Productions for?
The purpose of Warped Productions is two-fold. First, it is something that allows me to
show some of my interests and some of the work I have done, such as games, etc.
Second, it provides a forum which allows me to rant. And boy can I rant. I'll give my
opinions about anything, politically correct or otherwise. I don't care if you don't want
to hear it. It makes me feel so much better. Third, I hope you can find something here
that you enjoy too.
Question 5: What unfortunate sequence of events lead to Warped Productions?
It all started when I took the Advanced Web Programming course at Dalhousie. I learned all kinds
of cools stuff like writing CGIs and proxy servers, among other things. I was also taking
a digital media course and learned Shockwave, Photoshop, and Adobe Premiere movie maker.
After doing all this stuff, I figured I would make a personal web page and put up some my
interests. On this page I would have a small section for some of the stuff I had created.
Originally, my site was going to be called Darkside Station. Warped Productions was just going to be
that little section of goodies I had brought into existence. After I had worked on Darkside
Station for a while I realized I wanted to spend the most time on that little section.
So I decided to scrap Darkside Station and concentrate that. Warped
Productions was born...
Question 6: What color are your eyes?
Brown. Like dirt.
Question 7: Where did you dispense hoops justice?
First at Dartmough High, then the University of King's College, and finally at DalTech. All the while playing
power forward with my mad game. Post moves for days.
Question 8: What would improve television?
More sitcoms with Boba Fett. Come on, you can't tell me you wouldn't watch Dawson's Creek if you knew Boba
was going to kick some ass. And get ride of Kathy Lee.
Question 9: What language do you program your games in?
Java. I'm just doing dinky little things after all. I don't need THAT much speed.
Question 10: What can I expect in the future from Warped Productions?
You mean besides a rise to world domination?
Well, certainly more of what is already here. More movie reviews, social
comments, and my video games. That should be enough for you as it is. But eventually I would like to add more movie
pages for such cinema classics as The Matrix, Spaceballs, and so forth. And maybe some more sports and music stuff.
At some point I plan on added some stuff for the video games I play, such as Jedi Knight. Man, with all this new stuff
you will never have to go outside again. Just get someone to leave food by the door. Human contact is now obselete.
Question 11: How do you want to die?
Taking a lot of innocent people with me.
If there are any more questions you want answered, let me know.
More questions and answeres about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness will be yours.